A Few Things I Learned At My Great Grandmothers Funeral

About 10 days ago, I attended my great-grandmother's funeral. Doretha Grice Zeigler, but I knew her as “DeDe.” Admittedly, I hadn’t seen her in some years. I take full responsibility for that. I would always ask my dad how she was doing, and he would keep me updated, of course.

She was 98 years old, such a long life and lineage she had. I remember being young and spending summers in Florida with my favorite cousin at her house. Not a day went by that she didn’t have breakfast ready with a tall glass of milk and a tall glass of orange juice. At this age now, I don’t know how in the world I was drinking a whole glass of whole milk. I guess that's why my stomach would always hurt, lol. I never went without anything at her house; she even had fruit trees in her backyard.

Now, looking back, I can see those fruit trees resembled the fruit she brought into other people’s lives. You see, at the funeral, I heard stories of Grandma DeDe that I had never known. As my dad spoke, I found out the influence she had on him. It was the first time I had seen my dad cry in a long time.

The impact she made in her community was loud enough to hear for generations to come. It really put life into perspective. I’m usually not very good at dealing with funerals, I admit, but sometimes you need to see it. You need to feel the preciousness of life. Understanding that in that casket is the shell, the shell that holds the real you. The spirit that is able to leave traces of love, light, and wisdom wherever you choose to walk. DeDe did that; she would give her last if she knew it would help someone else. She is actually the first of my close grandparents to pass away. I do not take for granted that I have all of my grandparents still here on my mom and dad’s side. I am fortunate to have long life, and I pray I can soak up any wisdom before they go, because it is inevitable. We all go. Ask yourself, what will I leave here? How can I make sure an impact is made? Whose life can I change along the way? Anyway, here are a few of my takeaways from my great-grandma DeDe’s life and legacy.

The tiny details make a significant impact

DeDe made sure the small things were always taken care of. From the folding of clothes to the way the dishes were put away, she believed that when you take care of the little things, it leads to living a life full of abundance.

Leave the world better than before

Hearing every story of her truly was amazing. She made sure in her 98 years of living she touched the hearts of everyone around her.

Show up for your loved ones

It was the first time in a long time I was around a lot of my dad’s side of the family. Man, you could tell we all needed that time. We just needed time to be beside everyone for a hug or just a laugh. I hope I can show up more and more. I could see the joy in my father’s face to see all of his sons and brothers and cousins together. I loved the light it brought to everyone.

You never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory

This is one of the most important lessons I learned. I didn’t know the value of the last moment I spent with her until the funeral. What other things could I have asked? How many more times could I have shown up? When moments become memories, they hold so much weight. Hold on to each moment with everyone around you. You won’t truly feel the value until that moment passes, so do your best to be present in it.

You are loved more than you can even imagine

So many wonderful things were shared about DeDe. Many people showed up who could show up. All in all, you could just feel the love in the room. Through the tears and the stories was a warm embrace for my great-grandmother. She was probably loved by people she didn’t even know. The same goes for you. You are loved way more than you think, and I really hope you understand that.

Keep serving, keep showing up, keep loving, and keep being your most authentic self. One last thing, and probably the most important point, is my great-grandmother LOVED God. She knew God was the one light always shining in her corner when times got dark. Seeing she was blessed as much as she was, I know she was one of heaven’s favorites. So Grandma DeDe, if this newsletter can be read up there, I hope it makes you smile and understand the impact you left on your great-grandson. Also, save me a glass of orange juice and milk. But please, can we try almond instead? Lol. Love you, DeDe. Rest in paradise.